through tests and trials ;
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Wednesday 26 October 2011
-07:49
sometimes i ponder if fate is playing me out. surprises fail time after time. with each passing time, you lose heart of everything? when your surprise backfires the first time, it's mere disappointment. the second, a tinge of sadness. the third, you start to get numb or rather the disappointment hits you real hard but you just swallow it down and pretend everything's alright :D perhaps each time you expect but you never get what you wanted so might as well dont expect - i learnt that many lessons ago. understanding as a person can get, you cant deny him of that feeling but no one's gonna make that up for him.
why cant anything just happen normally. the normal course of action that never seem to happen. it seems like each time there's an intent to do something, fate brings you down. hah. going home after cca the way it is, be it by bus or car; going to an event to help out; meeting on a normal sch day. aren't all these normal courses of action? or are they special events whereby there's much uncertainty. hahaha but when a surprise backfires and bites back to surprise the person who's planning the surprise, yknow that nothing can be deem certain anymore.
when you wake up at 4am (i never ever do, knowing how i always procrastinate and never early for meet ups/classes), when you spend the time and effort to make a breakfast (i dont even make one for myself every day), when you make an effort to catch the first bus (and constantly worry if the first bus is able to reach in time to deliver the breakfast), when you reach and you wait patiently for the usual morning greeting (that never came and continue wondering if the person is up and probably busy getting ready to come down). when all of these never materialise, you know there's nothing you can do anymore with your surprise. yeah, this is how you feel each time you plan a surprise, try to make it work out, only to see your plan fumble when you get surprised instead with things you never expect to happen (:
the problem with surprises is only you are able to get to see the immense amount of effort and time to make things happen. the other party will only know that, oh you've planned a surprise, im sorry it didnt work out but that person will not make up for your time or effort because he/she never knows, will never know.
life is full of surprises itself. surprise doesnt occur every day. doesnt happen all the time. i guess that's what makes surprises special? that's what make surprises precious. but when you see your surprises always failing, it's probably telling you to move on and stop all your surprise nonsense cos the other party will never appreciate it. not because the other party is not appreciative of your efforts (im sure your other party will be shocked and able to share the joy and surprise with you if it materialise) but rather because the surprise doesnt work out for that person to appreciate in the first place.
yeah, so much for a surprise. :D
Monday 24 October 2011
-15:19
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
也许过了今夜,我就会觉得更好 :D
Saturday 15 October 2011
-00:51
thursday and friday were rather happy days after a seemingly bad wednesday! i probed too far, i asked too much, possessive much on wed! but thursday started well? it all started with a star and a heart! i know you may think it's ridiculous for me to make such bold statements that it's because of them that kickstarted my day really well.. but i can ensure you that it was really the case. it may appear to be cheesy and you thought i wasnt really serious. you just dont know whats the power of your little actions!
i was quite shocked with your encouragements that came in a special form! i managed to pull through my presentation in the morning, received quite good news about my test results (though there may be changes. and still not as good as a 29/30 haahah), was okay for biz law and subsequently performed well during toastmaster.
All these couldnt be possible, srsly, without that little push:D
Friday was awesome too! that long walk was really nice (despite the sweat)! i enjoyed every single moment (:
im starting to like long walks w you <3 two and more to come!
i believe i've come to terms with many things that i often worry/think about. i shall let that pass. i do not want to be unhappy over such silly things anymore.
Sunday 2 October 2011
-17:13
Dear Glen,I hope you have already realized that when you put someone before you (ie. of the highest priority), you often fall short of your expectations. Start doing things without any expectations for a change.Regards,Your Inner Selfps. do numb yourself and be constantly reminded that you're still unofficial to the family so you can never appear in front of her family members under any circumstances. thanks. and stop being sad when youre reminded of disappearing.