through tests and trials ;
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Thursday, 4 July 2013
-02:55
Today, everything that mattered sunk in. I understood that for the matter of fact, I'm losing it.
It seems like I'm being tested again and again in relationships building. Each time when a feeling develops, a friend happens to have the same feeling for her too. I guess that in a way I'm tested and these trials happen to make me certain if im ready for any relationship. To let go the previous one, I muster great courage not by myself alone but with Him. I understood the need to surrender my all to Him. I was reminded each time of the analogy of a coconut and a monkey. There is a tribe that always like to hunt down monkeys for food. However, everyone knew that monkeys are very agile and it is hard to shoot them down with the bow and arrow they've gotten. As such, one wise men devised a trap, one that can lure the monkeys. firstly, they cut a small hole from the coconut. then they poured out the coconut water and filled it will wonderful smelling, piping hot rice. The aroma reached the monkeys and the hungry side of them just wanted to reach out for the rice within the coconut. However, as they squeezed their hand in, they are unable to take their hand out. As they grabbed the rice within, their hand is shaped in a fist, and this tightens against the coconut. The hunters then took their own sweet time to chase after the monkey, knowing that they are unable to escape with their clenched fist in the coconut. The greed of the monkey got the better of them and i realised i was not much different from those monkeys. I grabbed hold to opportunities but i never really let it go to God. I didn't surrender it all. are we all not like the monkeys? many would blame that it is human nature but that's not the reason! Just as i surrendered the past hurt to Him, i guess i didnt surrender my life. what goes on to mean that i have surrendered my life to God? in essence, what does it mean to surrender my all? From what i see, my friendship is going nowhere. im persistently affected by it. i cant have a relationship w her though i have alr developed some feelings. argh friendships are important. maybe im just too tired to try? or if i try, does it mean i didn't really surrender it all to Him?
oh well. it doesnt help when i've a whole lot of backlog to complete - e50, tax comps, toastmasters, installation ceremony, renewals. It's been a bad week for me. perhaps the prior good weeks made me procrastinate. and i've yet to book accommodation for the taiwan trip. argh. i need perseverance. one day. one day i'll come to understand. that all that i've been doing/trying is worth it because it's His plan for me.
JIA YOU!
